Yeah...

So it's been over a year since I wrote here, and I meant to write this last night but the hubbs wanted to go to bed so it was ruled to be sleepy time. But hey, I'm writing it now and that's what counts, right? Let's see...

I had kid #2 LAST November, she turns one in a couple days. Ended up having a second c-section because I didn't like the odds for a VBAC for me. Had SPD while pregnant with her, really badly and while under an OBGYN who could care less about the human, was in it for the money... So it went un-treated the whole pregnancy and I still have not healed properly from it, starting to think I'll have screwy hips forever, but I still have another year before I can say "this is as good as it'll ever get". Was diagnosed with severe anxiety and manic depression a couple months back... I had two moods: meh and blinding, seething rage. Not the healthiest with small children. On medication for it now, doing pretty good. I have an interest in myself and my appearance, as well as the ability to care for my teething, constipated, potty training children calmly and with love and interest.

Drawback to kid #2 learning to walk: she can keep up with kid #1 better and I now get to go find out what they've gotten into...

In May...

So Hubbs FINALLY got to go to first shift, started today. With any luck he'll be first shift until he retires. Yay for good news!

Blarg title is blarg.

Got mad at the hubbs this morning, like three times in almost as many minutes... I guess he was trying to be nice and let me sleep in, but managed to do everything in his power to keep the baby upset and whining, which kept me up. Brought her in to "wake me up" and when I ask if the baby was the one emitting the shit smell he told me it was probably my breath, when he had some foul morning breath himself. And the baby had in fact managed to fart right in my face. So I got up and go to pack the easter basket for my little sister to find that he had eaten all of her favorite candies and when I yelled at him for it he said "you said only some of it was going in her basket". What I had actually said was "This is the candy for her basket, not all of it is going to fit so there will be some leftover when I pack it". So I spent several minutes ranting via text message to said little sister while he logged into warcraft and acted like nothing happened. My sister's opinion was for me to kick him, and I'm sad that I really wanted to agree with her...

So...

We've got baby number two on the way. Just number two, we went in to have them counted and unless one is a super ninja, there was only one in there. Excited about having the next kid, relived that after this kid there will be no more, and a little stressed that kid number one shows no signs of being ready to potty train yet. Absolutely dismayed at the idea of having to change a two year old and a newborn at the same time... Already a little curious how Kid #1 is going to handle me breastfeeding Kid#2, since #1 REALLY did not want to wean... Hopefully all goes well and #1 understands that she's different that #2 and that the reason #2 breastfeeds is because she can't eat food the way #1 does... Hopefully. Also hoping that Kid#1 suddenly decides she's ready to potty train in the next 8 months...

Kid#1 has been driving me nuts with her terrible two-ing... refusing to go to bed when she's supposed to, throwing tantrums when I tell her no about something, I swear I'm gonna tape the kid to a wall for an hour... She put herself in time out today, that was a laugh. She wasn't even in trouble at the time, but started crying and put herself in the corner. I never figured out why she thought she was in trouble either... It's okay, it's just a phase, she'll grow out of it... or I'll sell her to the circus, one or the other. :D

A little apprehensive about the birth of Kid#2, my doctor said that as long as the doctor that delivered Kid#1 cut my uterus a certain direction (#1 was a c-section) then he'd be willing to let me try to naturally birth Kid#2, but since I fully intend to not have another kid after this he said it really made no difference, since the only real major risks of having multiple c-sections was that the placenta could grow into your scarring, which would be bad... but he also pointed out that if I CAN deliver naturally, it's a faster recovery and WAAAAAYYYY cheaper than paying for another c-section... Which is also nice. So yeah, on the fence on that one...

Anyway, tired now, going to stare vacantly at a chat room for another few minutes and then call it a night. Maybe I'll actually get some decent sleep tonight, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Oy, dreams...

Seriously. Even IN my dreams I KNOW I'm not a super sneaky ninja/spy/special agent, so why does my brain feel the need to put me in some bizarre ninja/spy/special agent (yes all three at once, I dunno either) type of training facility and manage to get me LASERED in the leg, which actually hurt in the dream, I'm going to blame a cat treading on me in the waking world for that, and then freaking stabbed in the back, like in my lung, by a fellow competitor? The stab didn't hurt, because my conscious brain was still stuck on the fact that my dream though I was a ninjaspyagent, but it's a little disconcerting to see yourself in the third person with a Bowie knife sticking out of your back. And the other people trying to pull it out, that was so creepy. I was still alive though, none the worse for having a knife in my lung, and managed to convince them they needed to leave it alone until I could get to a doctor, but seriously brain, WTF? Lasered AND knifed? Sheesh, jerk.

It's a blog. Very, bloggy.

Yup. Was asked by a friend to more or less drop everything and drive two hours to bring a random item to said friend and then have to drive two hours back, all with a 19 month old in the car, with no forewarning, and no help in gas. I said no. I think it may have made the friend mad, but I can't really afford a four hour drive on a whim, not with gas prices the way they are... Oh well.

Had to go shopping today, originally with the purpose of retrieving a ring I'd left at a jeweler's and refilling my prescription... Well the jeweler didn't have the ring, it was still at the people they'd sent it to for astronomical estimates on re-creating it with new stones, and my prescription was ironically out of refills. Had I realized the prescription was out I would have called ahead... and now in retrospect I realize I have a friggin script paper in my wallet for a full year's prescription. Wow dumb move there... Oh well. Now that I'm filled with the overwhelming desire to use a wall to beat some sense into me, let's move on, shall we?

Since I was already out I went to walmart, yay, to pick up a few things that we were out of. I can't wait until the hubbs is on first shift and I don't have to shop with just the baby. Love the girl to pieces, but she really doesn't like having to sit in the cart and not run around, it'd be so much nicer if we were both there and one of us could let her run about while the other shops. Been a little depressed the last few days and ended up hitting the easter candy harder than I intended, which was to say, not at all...

Wouldn't be depressed if I just knew the outcome or this month's fertility treatments... It's depressing to have to get up every morning and dose up with the expected date of my next cycle LOOMING at me from the calender... The only plus side is that we knew which side I'd ovulated on, and nearly which day I was supposed to ovulate, as opposed to the previous two months that I am not fully convinced I ovulated at all. Especially since there was no recent scarring on either ovary that could be seen during my sonogram a couple weeks ago. Hopefully this month was successful, though I can't test until like, the 30th or something.

Gah, it also occurs to me as I type that I really should have decided what I'm going to serve this sunday to the nerd squad, and bought it while I was shopping... Meh, with as cold as it's going to be on friday, I might have the hubbs get what we'll need before he goes to work and let it sit in his frozen trunk all day, lol. And since I'm kinda leaning toward biscuits with sausage gravy, all I'd need are a couple flats of biscuits and I'd be good... Haven't served that in a while, and it went over really well when I did... and it's cheap and easy. Heh. Of course, I do have an enormous box of biscuit mix in my cupboard already, I could just make them... yeah... Thanks blog, we've decided on sunday's dinner, awesome.

ANYWAYS, it's bedtime for me, I'm tired and I've got a bit of a headache, most likely from not drinking enough water, so I'm going to down a glass and go to bed.

Obligatory new blog introduction post!

Okay so this is the post where I warn any and all possible future readers of this blog that this is going to be a blog that I update when 140 characters on twitter just won't cut it and my brain demands more out of me. It will not update with any predictable regularity, nor will it be likely that one post will have anything to do with the previous post/s. Also being that this is a diary of sorts, I do not foresee me putting particular effort into making this rose-tinted, or even censored. This will, in fact, be what my brain is thinking just as fast as my fingers can translate it into typing. I do expect it to make little if any sense to the people who may ever read it because my brain has a habit of being incomprehensible to people not me... and sometimes me as well. It is almost guaranteed that all posts to this blog will be typed right before I go to bed, as a further warning. My brain gets even more random when it's tired.

Other than that, welcome. :)